Thank you everyone for the careful readings and
constructive suggestions.
Grassy, I'll take your word for the 'amazed by'
pending my looking up Partridge or Fowler. Gary, I'll
think about remedying the loneliness of 'jar' but
maybe it's appropriate for it to be 'jarring'. James,
Yes, stanzas 1 and 2 could more suitably be one
stanza. David, I had to go to my off-line pop music
guru to find the reference you were making to 'tracks
of my tears'. 'Taste' was my first choice here then I
rejected it as being a little too...Maybe 'sense'
would do. Terri, I'm not sure that I wish to
eliminate the concept behind 'that would have pleased'
but I'll keep on thinking about it.
The poem originated in an apparently emotionless
(male) comment to a friend (female) that she seemed to
hold on to her grievances for an enormously long time.
I do not recall her comment. The rest was just my spin
and metaphor. Thanks again, cara
>
> > Old Hurts
> >
> >
> > He was always amazed
> > at the way she picked
> > the frayed edges
> > of relationships.
> >
> > Then kept the multi-coloured
> > ends of threads
> > in a translucent
> > jar.
> >
> > He suspected
> > that the innocent glass
> > played tricks upon
> > her perceptions.
> >
> > When she stayed up at night,
> > he imagined,
> > she spilled
> > the coloured strands
> >
> > over the drab table-cloth;
> > tried to re-weave them
> > into patterns
> > that would have pleased.
> >
> > He could track the tears
> > on her cheeks
> > once she had climbed
> > the heavy stairs
> >
> > to join him.
> >
> >
> >
> > cara january 2002
> >
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__________________________________________________
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