Hi Gary,
The satire is wonderfully sustained here and I enjoyed the read and chuckled
with recognition. The biblical medium is a nice conceit too. I think only
the last line spoils it and comes in more as an afterthought, a conceit too
far.
bw
James
>From: garydawg <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New: In the Beginning
>Date: Wed, 9 Jan 2002 09:51:03 -0800
>
>(I'm not sure where this came from. It sure did not start out as it ended.
>It will likely be the last bit of mine for a dialogue, but your views
>welcome.)
>
>In the Beginning
>
>In the beginning,
> light separated from dark
> land from water
> flesh from spirit.
>God looked at it,
>declared it good
>and to celebrate wrote a poem.
>
>But it was not,
>good that is.
> The metaphor was strained,
> rhyme forced,
> rhythm more drinking horn
> than harp.
>The poem was all Hallmark
>without an edge of reality.
>
>So God made some changes,
>got tough, tight, sharp.
> He closed the Garden,
> a bit of dirt good for poetry.
> He brought back the water
> to help with severe editing.
>He made rules,
>no more free verse.
>
>The poetry workshopped,
>He found beginners lack respect.
> Sarah laughed.
> Moses questioned everything.
> Elijah, Ezekiel and Zechariah
> ranted on and on and on.
>And David got all the accolades
>for pieces he may have cribbed.
>
>Nothing seemed to work,
>reincarnation required every
> half millennium.
> Pennames, nom de plumes
> even ghosts stood in
> for this Holy Spirit.
>Of course, they began to believe
>the works of God where theirs.
>
>Until this, the age of "Anything Goes,"
>more variations to the rules
> than names for God,
> he wrote private verse
> read only to Michael,
> who hosannaed every word.
>Ever the hope He might find
>a Word as in the Beginning.
>
>And finally win a Nobel.
>
>January guest Nat at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html,
>
>Submissions: http://www.writershood.com/index.html
>
>Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
bw
James
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