Dear Sue,
The first struck me as very wordy, - this may be the authentic voice of the
philosopher, but it seemed to me to detract from the power of the image of
the runner lighting the fires--the verse itself didn't seem very athletic or
physical, if that makes sense.
The second I think is spoiled by the hyperbole in the last line, especially
as there is no explanation or preparation for it in the preceding lines, so
it didn't strike me as anything deeper than a literary device.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sue Scalf" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, May 18, 2002 1:59 PM
Subject: two new poem (reactions please)
> 1.
>
>
> Beach Fires
>
>
> Newly divorced,
> the philosopher revealed
> he had been so eaten by despair
> that on a Maine beach, with night rolling in,
> he piled stacks of driftwood
> that stretched into a curve along the shore.
> Straight-backed, torch in hand,
> proud as an Olympian, he ran,
> bent down and ignited each one.
> Purpose? None, he said.
> But exhaustion left him
> somehow vindicated, somehow clean,
> as if each pyre was a small sun,
> and he was the god that made them burn,
> nothing more than this. It was something to do,
> something to say if anyone were listening,
> as if it mattered, as if anyone cared.
> And beyond the susurrus of unseen waves
> endless and unfeeling, smoke joined fog,
> voiceless in rising spirals,
> like censers of incense or unspoken prayer.
> And all along the beach,
> fires winked out one by one.
>
> ------------
> 2.
>
>
> Seduction
>
> I took you by the hand
> and led you to a shallow dune;
> being daring, I wanted you
>
> while waves foamed and retreated,
> beneath stars and the shadows
> of moonlight among sea oats.
>
> No one was near.
> The whitecaps pounded in.
> Was that pounding the sea or my heart?
>
> Alone now, still I hear the surf,
> see those pinpoints of fire
> over your wide shoulders,
>
> and I feel joined to the universe,
> joined to you, who are
> farther away than any star or moon.
>
> Sue Scalf
>
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