Thanks, Bob and Sally.
Bob,
 I'm sorry you found it horrible.I suppose I wanted a rather fairytale feel
which was why I had a rather flat narrative before the last stanza. Actually
the original forms of fairytales can be very gruesome, -I remember having
nightmares as a child after reading stories from the Red Book,Yellow etc of
Fairystories which included such delights as Cinderella's stepmother being
forced to dance in red-hot iron shoes.
 The blood is quite a shocking image, but it was to try and convey that
moment of revelation, and heartbreak,that can suddenly come to someone.
Sally,
yes, it could apply to anyone who submerges their personality for ungrateful
people.
Kind regards,
             grasshopper

----- Original Message -----
From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>>
Sent: Sunday, May 05, 2002 10:15 AM
Subject: Re: New Sub: Haemorrhage


> Hi Grasshopper,
> Interesting, tight, controlled, (but horrible) poem!
> I'm wondering, Grasshopper, if the last stanza sounds a tad too much like
an
> explanation (I know there's a sense that you can't show us, you have to
tell
> us where it came from... so I'm foxed as to what to suggest!) I think, y
> see, I can sense how I say the last stanza so differently to the rest of
the
> poem and that's what alerted me to the change in what's going on. I'm
> wondering if there's another, less abrupt, way of letting me discover
what's
> to happen... (how's about not starting the stanza "One day..." and being
> more specific about when, and even where?) (Would that make the switch
> between what we see of her life and what we're told is happening less
> abrupt?)
> (But, on the other hand, I also know there's plenty of poems that have to
> switch the way they work before they can get into the business they're
> trying to do.)
> Sorry I can't explain it better, or be more helpful at the moment. (It's
the
> sort of conundrum I'll probably have with me, sidling round the
> not-controlled parts of the brain for a while, and something may then just
> emerge)
> Bob
>
>
> >From: grasshopper
> >Subject: New Sub: Haemorrhage
> >Date: Sat, 27 Apr 2002 16:11:33 +0100
> >
> >                Haemorrhage
> >
> >She was always a good little girl.
> >playing with dolls and sewing their clothes.
> >She baked small cakes, brewed tiny tea.
> >
> >She loved books about knights and fairies
> >about princesses in sugarcrust towers,
> >the good living happily on the last page.
> >
> >She grew through life in soft fabric
> >and pastel shades. Her lips were pink.
> >She married and bore noisy children.
> >
> >She began to frown even as she smiled.
> >She managed, she cooked and cared
> >and ignored her husband's business trips.
> >
> >Her home was like a hotel, where she paid
> >the fees. She was always accommodating.
> >She was sure that loving assured love.
> >
> >One day her mouth flooded with blood.
> >It did not come from her teeth or her
> >throat, but from the chambers of her heart.
> >
> >                         grasshopper
>
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