Arthur,
Years ago I was reading a book about someone's WW2 experiences. He ended
up in a Japanese POW camp. One of the other inmates was Ronald Searle, who
drew the St. Trinian's cartoons, among others. He recalls the artist
endlessly sketching on precious pieces of paper, then scrunching them up in
frustration, muttering "Too many lines, too many lines."
And yes, I miss the music in a lot of modern poetry.
Kind regards.
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "Arthur" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 6:25 PM
Subject: Re: New sub:Old Hurts
> I agree with you here, Insect, and my response to minimalism is that
carried
> to its extreme we are left with no words at all. Perhaps that is a thought
> to toy with. But like everything else I have learned through this and
other
> sites it is a thought to hold in your head when writing, the "ing" thing,
> the cliche, the show not tell, they are all valid points but at the end I
> hear what they say , the criteria becomes part of my craft and I still
write
> my way, sometimes it is improved by the thought, the guard , being there,
> but musicality that , to me, is the essence of poetry.
> Which reminds me of a scene in " Amadeus" when the Emperor tells Mozart "
> Too many notes! Just get rid of a few, there's a good fellow." Mozart,
> exasperated, asks "How can there be too many notes there are as many as I
> need not more not less........enough". Or words to that effect, it is a
> while since I saw the film.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "grasshopper" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 5:41 PM
> Subject: Re: New sub:Old Hurts
>
>
> > Dear Cara,
> > Another interesting read. You often write these subtle
explorations
> of
> > relationships.
> > I would suggest that it's 'amazed by the way', not 'at the way'
> > I'm piggybacking on Gary's comments, with apologies,
> > because I disagree with his belief that if you can possibly cut a word
out
> > off the poem, cut it. This, to me, ignores the music of words.For
> instance,
> > he suspected that the innocent glass..
> > he suspected the innocent glass... to me, the first sounds right, the
> second
> > sounds clipped.
> > Also the definite article often adds weight to a noun, grounding it in
> the
> > context of the poem, so I see no reason automatically to delete the
> definite
> > articles.
> > We aren't composing telegrams where we have to pay for
> > each word, so I don't know where this fervour to chop chop comes from,
but
> > my heart and ear tell me that cuts are often being suggested without
good
> > reason.
> > I'm sure you disagree with me, Gary, so please come back at me about it
> if
> > you wish.
> > Kind regards,
> > grasshopper
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "garydawg" <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 3:44 PM
> > Subject: Re: New sub:Old Hurts
> >
> >
> > > Cara, reads well though I would drop a couple of words and do not like
> the
> > > lone jar.
> > >
> > > Thanks.
> > >
> > > Gary
> > Another ineteresting >
> > > He was always amazed
> > > at the way she picked
> > > the frayed edges
> > > of relationships.
> > >
> > > Then kept the multi-coloured (no then)
> > > ends of threads
> > > in a translucent
> > > jar. (too short)
> > >
> > > He suspected
> > > that the innocent glass (no that)
> > > played tricks upon
> > > her perceptions.
> > >
> > > When she stayed up at night,
> > > he imagined,
> > > she spilled
> > > the coloured strands (no the)
> > >
> > > over the drab table-cloth;
> > > tried to re-weave them
> > > into patterns
> > > that would have pleased.
> > >
> > > He could track the tears (no the)
> > > on her cheeks
> > > once she had climbed
> > > the heavy stairs
> > >
> > > to join him. (fine end)
> > >
> > > January guest Nat at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html,
> > >
> > > Submissions: http://www.writershood.com/index.html
> > >
> > > Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
> > >
>
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