Hi Ahren,
and welcome to the list. And this morning I've just read some of yr work
that's singing clear in Nightingale! (... an oldish copy I was sent, which I
opened up and thought - I know that name from somewhere else too!) And I
like what yr saying in this poem! It's spritely, witty, it works well!
But I'm wondering if sentences could sometimes be longer (and, therefore,
have a bit more in them, in what they say, so they read like full
sentences...).
And I also notice that you've got the phrase "one hundred years/ or maybe
ten" near the start and a hundred years near the end of the poem (and I'm
wondering if the 2nd mention of one hundred may become another figure?)
But a fine read,
thanks,
Bob
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