Yes, Gary, the opening stanzas were a problem for me, too. I felt they were
too jokey -'Ping!'- to convey any real sense of terror. I felt that they
established a mocking tone.
I wasn't suggesting that in reality you lacked compassion for
the girl, Arthur. I always make the distinction between the voice that comes
across in the poem and the poet him/herself. I take each poem as a poem, for
itself.
Have a good holiday ,by the way.
Kind reagrds,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gary B" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 3:15 PM
Subject: Re: New sub: Turbulence
> Arthur, I wonder if these lines take away from the story of the girl?
>
> Unloose the butterflies of terror!
> Let fly the birds of blood
> to fluster in our throats!
>
> If the poet steps into the poem.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Gary
>
>
> Melody for April and Gar finds at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html
>
> The Wild/Eliot Hyperpoem at: http://wildhyper.homestead.com/front.html
>
> Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
>
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