Arthur:  Hey love "trash truck docks" can see it hear it almost(but not
quite) smell

In this rain, thankfully smells are muted.

*

Cara:  Do you think such a phrase would work in a longer poem or does it
depend for its success on the brevity of
the 'form' and your clever juxtapositions?

Likely, a longer version of this below but all of it in the same form.  I
think it depends how the line is placed in the poem.  If in the middle of a
long line lost in others, perhaps not as well.  In this version, it is
nearly the only assonance.  In the new it shares that with others.  So..?
But you and anyone else is more than welcome to try it out.

*

John:  a guy called Sean Burn.

Please thank him for me.

*

Ryf:  I like these short poems very much;

Maybe I should do a short in the set we are in.  (g)  Or at least one
shorter than the chapter of Genesis I am in.

Thanks friends.  John has something going with the zips, but I like the idea
of jazzips most.

The longer one below.  Apologies to those who have seen it elsewhere.

Gary


          below debris    dropped at high tide
    a pumpkin floats    bumping mushrooms

garbage cans    barge through surf   and alder leaves
               as the trash truck docks

*

            Sunday chores     left undone
       under the weather     a bit lazy

up early Monday    cans delivered    in the rain
              and faded red pajamas

*

        a pumpkin    bumps the driveway
amid tire tracks    and  cracked crab




January guest Nat at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html,

Submissions: http://www.writershood.com/index.html

Poets for Peace.  ¡Poemas sí, balas no!