Gardawgy, this is outstanding. A few minor tidy-ups below, but nothing to
crit. Well done, friend.

CW, Mary :O)

--- garydawg <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>
> 2.  RED
>
>
> red as a bayou sunsets
> red as a humming bird's throat
> red as an unseen stop sign
> red as the shirts Tom's mother died [dyed]
>    for him from flour sacks
>    and second hand calico
>
> tomatoes are as red
>
> Tom St. Croix was red
> as his father was black -
> a shock of woodpecker red hair
> sat above a sienna face
> potmarked with scarlet freckles.
> The sheriff used to say
> he's the only coonboy I ever seed
> that can blush. [lol]
>
> Tom's momma was dead
> pole axed by Big Tom
> while she while she shelled [omit one while she]
> pecans two days after Tom birthed,
> her hands stained.
> Big Tom was hung
> from a peckerwood tree,
> back striped like a cardinal's robes.
> Tom an orphan raised by Granny Leboix.
>
> red as salmon eggs
>
> Me six and a half, him older
> by half, Tom was by bestest friend. [my]
> Summers with my mangy
> redbone, Blue, we would raid
> Old Man Crockett's watermelon patch,
> old Crotchety Crockett.
> When heat waves painted mirages
> across the tobacco fields, [no the]
> we would hid in bushes [perhaps no would, or hidE? or is this the
dialect?]
> along the Apicolalacha River
> and watch the Beniua twins
> skinny-dip in their drawers.
>
> Winter we bucked wind
> to search draws and shore
> for treasures riding on the floods.
> Spring was for crayfish,
> bullhead and wild strawberries
> Summer we sunburned
> and Fall stained our lips
> with the last persimmons. [delightful stanza]
>
> red as a trip to the woodshed
>
> But we were not of a kind,
> though I could sit at his  table, [extra space here]
> he never sat at mine.
> His time at our house spend [spent]
> delivering goods baked
> by Old Granny Leboix.
> As we grew Daddy would hint
> I needed new friends, and come
> 4th grade we separated,
> Tom through with schooling,
> his kind worked instead of learning.
>
> Then the sun set
> and red turned to black -
> the Beniua twins found drawerless
> near the river, near a mile
> from where Tom pulled
> a rusty wagon to deliver Granny's pies
> and elderberry jelly.
> Near naked, bruised
> to new shades, they threw Tom
> into the square just as Daddy and I
> pulled in with the buggy.
>
> red as cheap wine
>
> Blue trotted over to Tom,
> sniffed the nearly dead body
> and hackles raised growled
> at the crowd of men around Tom
> and jumped the meanest man there,
> Old Crotchety, who let off both
> barrels of his shotgun, buck hitting
> the dog and enough hit Tom
> to allow the men to get home early.
>
> Four years latter, a drifter up near [later]
> Baton Rouge confessed to what he done
> to the twins before the floor
> moved beneath his feet. [this is so similar to The Green Mile...]
>
> Such things happened then.
> We forgot and moved on,
> Why did they have to shoot my dog?
>
> red as blood soaked dust
> red as a dog's breath in July
> red as hemlock berries
> red as oak leaves In October
>
> Christmas red,
> independence
> and Valentines traded
>   in the 4th grade

=====
Good Cheer & Be Well,
Maryann Hazen-Stearns
"Under The Limbo Stick"
http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
also available at these locations:
http://www.vivisphere.com  http://www.amazon.com

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