In a message dated 3/24/02 7:16:17 AM, [log in to unmask]
writes:
<< Pumpkin Pie
He'd sworn that she was not his type, too thin
with, at the most, three-quarters of a working mind,-
and, Geez, that laugh,- a gerbil drowned in gin! [how come the hyphen before
and, Geez, & before a gerbil...after the comma?]
He'd stressed again that he abhorred that kind
of wet-lipped tart with schlepp fit for a clown, [don't get schlepp fit here;
schlepp meaning to carry]
all tawdry flesh and flash, a laughing stock,
hems hoist like flags and necklines plunging down:
sure signs of too much mileage on the clock.
His wife soon read the tale in Visa's sums,
his statements contradicted, line by line;
how odd a modern fairytale becomes
when fantasy and fact and lies combine.
The ugly sister croaked. Once she was dead,
he'd had a ball in Cinderella's bed. [great biting ending]
grasshopper >>
I like your clever poem; I am just confused here and there.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
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