Dear John,
I have a few problems with this (but let's face it, what do I know?)
For me, the end seems much too flippant for what has gone before.
Also I wondered if the echo of Cohen was deliberate:
'She feeds you tea and oranges
which come all the way from China'
I found it a bit distracting...
Also, why the break between 'all the way' and 'from China'? Surely that's a
single train of thought?
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "John Carley" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2002 8:36 PM
Subject: the heat from my head
Hi all, this from a work in progress. bw, john
--
midges bathe in the heat from my head
before they too are gone
a pheasant calls me all the way from China
oaks pull upward from their moorings
deep within the floating world
but truly monkey did you give a poet's
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