Ahhhh Gardawg,
The minute I read this I opened up my folder and deleted the pesky
buggers! Thanks for pointing that out** I'm still concerned about the
tense though... were or was???? That's the question...
CW, Mary :O)
--- garydawg <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> as though each pocket were full
> > > and she cries as though the very beast of life
> > >
> > > leaping within her heart had escaped
> > > and she fights as though her last breath
>
> Mary, not sure how I missed this the first time around. Well done,
> though
> you might] consider fewer connectors, esp the ands above.
>
> The kind of thing we ordinarily remind each other of (g).
>
> Thanks.
>
> Gary
>
> January guest Nat at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html,
>
> Submissions: http://www.writershood.com/index.html
>
> Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
=====
Good Cheer & Be Well,
Maryann Hazen-Stearns
"Under The Limbo Stick"
http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
also available at these locations:
http://www.vivisphere.com http://www.amazon.com
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