Ooops,
Sorry, Perpetua,
so sorry,
shudduv looked at the Subject line of my message!
Cos I'm writing to you and not to Gary!
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Eliot hyperpoem - Gary
>Date: Mon, 11 Mar 2002 14:11:16 +0000
>
>Hi Perpetua,
>I’ve been reading yr poem again and again and always seem to get caught out
>by the last line! I just find it’s rhythm and sound so difficult to accept!
>I think each of the last lines of the previous three quatrains all end with
>a heavily stressed syllable (they seem so powerful – they go “thumph!”) but
>the last line of the last stanza (ending with the word “psychosis”) has the
>stress elsewhere in the word. Rhythm’s not used in the same way (and rhythm
>is such a powerful part of the poem!).
>I know that part of the skill of poem making is playing with rhythmical
>effects but it seems very difficult to use a three syllable word when the
>rhythmical build up in rest of the line seems to demand a simpler sound.
>(It
>may be, therefore, that it’s not the word that’s at fault in itself – but
>the single syllable words that set up the expectations of rhythm when they
>come so steadily before it...)
>Bob
>
>
>
>
>>From: Perpetua Pullman <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Eliot hyperpoem - Gary
>>Date: Fri, 8 Mar 2002 09:51:12 +0000
>>
>>The Place
>>
>>slack night descends and flings her sequinned shawl
>>around the yellow shoulders of the moon
>>let us go dancing, raddled as we are,
>>lolloping vixens out to make a kill
>>
>>I'll take the hour, and you may choose The Place
>>where yards of leggy girls queue up to spin
>>like scanty moths in polyester wings
>>flaunting their artless guile in strobic snares
>>
>>let us devour their adolescent dreams
>>to swell a progress start a scene or two
>>we'll be unlikely puzzles matched to win
>>a south sea bubble, time-share of desire
>>
>>let us kick off well-heeled conformity
>>drink to the love that dare not speak its name
>>unhook the satin basque of sanity
>>and quench our thirst in duty free psychosis
>>
>>
>>
>>Perpetua Pullman
>>
>>
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