Arthur, The poem stands out better for me with this
readjustment of line length and quantity. cheers,
cara
--- Sally Evans <[log in to unmask]> wrote: >
on 4/1/02 10:33 am, Arthur at
> [log in to unmask] wrote:
>
> Arthur, rather belatedly , I like this, but perhaps
> it would work just as
> well or better if you (roughly) doubled the line
> lengths and (roughly)
> halved the number of lines: I could see it like
> this:
>
> A bubble of laughter my ear remembered,
> I turned and recalled,
> in the line of her cheeck and chin
> how I had assailed her once
> on castle walls....
> while the world passed below,
> held her hand beside the Avon,
> moments in a cool arbour.
>
> Thought to speak... thought again,
> drank my coffee quickly and left,
> letting the crowd dissolve me.
>
> You see I havent changed a word, I wouldnt presume
> anyway, but the layout
> to my mind shows the poem to much better advantage.
> ....And where did you
> find Sue Scalf? Her website is fantastic!!
> Sally-ee.
>
> The Fireworks Code.
>
>
>
> A bubble of laughter
>
> my ear remembered.
>
> I turned
>
> and recalled,
>
> in the line of her cheek
>
> and chin,
>
> how I had assailed her once
>
> on castle walls
>
> while the world passed below;
>
> held her hand beside the Avon;
>
> moments in a cool arbor.
>
>
>
> Thought to speak,
>
> thought again,
>
> drank my coffee quickly
>
> and left,
>
> letting the crowd dissolve me.
>
>
>
> Stand well back
>
> and NEVER return to a firework
>
> after it has been lit,
>
> it could explode in your face.
>
>
>
>
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Everything you'll ever need on one web page
from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts
http://uk.my.yahoo.com
|