I wonder if the last lines would have more impact if you left the reader
wondering - the keys could be computer keys - the music could be metaphor -
the last line could sum it all up.
so I'd change the title and cut the first line
Terri )O(
----- Original Message -----
From: "Frank Faust" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, March 09, 2002 3:17 AM
Subject: Sub - composition writing
> he writes like a composer
> his fingers move across the keys to put words up on a page
> like pressing chords
> trying to shape a music that will carry
> a reader away
> lost inside little story tales
> between the pounding of drama
> or a tinkle of love soft in the words broken
> by narration that can't speak the language too well
> perhaps from a foreign land
> he make music word so best he can
>
> he is always writing a solo
> but he tries to embrace the orchestration of the life that he leads
> by writing it for you
> telling tales of the places and moments
> the things he sees
> tiny sonatas in stanza form
> variations moving from thought
> through his fingers to screen then to paper
> passed to you for inspection to tell what you read
> did he write a good story
> does the music play inside your head
> when he writes like a composer?
>
> ~
>
> Frank
>
> The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at:
> http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm
>
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
> http://www.hotmail.com
|