Hey Sally:
Thank you. I like the phrase, "chewy sound", but will attempt to avoid it
nonetheless! I hadn't thought to count consonants, etc., which is odd
becuase I'm so used to counting with the other forms I use. Guess I go into
"wild abandon mode" sometimes...
Could you let me know about the logic, too, please? Your comment about how
"it would be" I take it to mean because they're alien, which was one of the
reasons I organized it this way, their logic, not mine! hehe
Ter
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally Evans" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, March 03, 2002 3:15 PM
Subject: Re: hypertext poem--request for C&C
> on 3/3/02 10:02 am, tlrelf at [log in to unmask] wrote:
>
> >
>
>
> I think this is super, terrie, but I would have used unbeknown, not
> unbeknownst. In the fist line to have a chewy sound like that, rather
spolis
> it. Unbeknownst has 3 vowels and 8 consonants!
> I like it all, even though I find the logic rather puzzling in places, but
> it would be, wouldn't it. hatchlings is good, even though that has 8
> consonants and 2 vowels.
> Sally ee
>
> Unbeknownst to human kind,
> > we have lingered in the chambers of the sea.
> > They look skyward, think us there,
> > yet we wade on the surface of their waves,
> > watch as they direct their lens
> > to measureless space.
> >
> > They listen on their radios,
> > spend billions on pseudoscience.
> > We could teach them more than this,
> > if they honor the promised code:
> > "We come in peace".
> >
> > We've asked ourselves,
> > "do I dare disturb the universe?"
> > certain that we already have.
> > This is a question they've rarely asked,
> > while polluting that space they so love to explore.
> >
> > Perhaps you've noticed a peculiar shimmer
> > from the corner of your eye,
> > and thought it rays of sun or moon captured by the waves.
> > Perhaps it was I, or another of my kind;
> > our obsidian orbs cast an eerie light.
> >
> > Marooned on a planet far from home,
> > we often dwell upon ironies such as this:
> > a species who expends so much to deny
> > what is right before their eyes.
> >
> > I ask you now, who is watching whom?
> >
> > And so I've placed this "poem" in a bottle,
> > discarded by a careless child.
> > But in this, as with many things,
> > we find purpose where none was claimed.
> >
> > When it rains, we dance upon your moonlit shores,
> > burrow in your sands to
> > spawn, then pray our hatchlings will remember all
> > and so bequeath you history.
> >
> > There was a time when people knew
> > that the sea was source of life immortal.
> > From it we come, to it we return,
> > waves thrashing upon the shore.
> >
> > Yes, life does hover at universe's edge;
> > a moon, and behind it, stars.
> >
> > Terrie
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