If you mean the story itself it is, in fact, true, or at least it is the
story my mother told us her father had told her and so in the context of the
title " true". If you mean the dialect is thick it is one which sadly seems
to be disappearing.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally Evans" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, March 02, 2002 10:08 PM
Subject: Re: new Sub: Tales at my Mothers Knee#3
> on 2/3/02 5:28 pm, Arthur at [log in to unmask] wrote:
>
>
>
> Blimey Arthur, this one's a bit thick.
> Sally ee
> > Tales at my Mother's Knee #3
> >
> >
> > Ah wu, niver cut aht fuh t' job in't fust place,
> > he sed, burah needed t'wuk
> > an' ah cud 'andil 'osses
> > an' ah figgered milk or coffins its same 'osses,
> > so ah tuk the job, fur a cupple of wiks onyroad.
> >
> > Thay call'em all sorts nah,
> > funeral directors or summat lahk,
> > an wus in America, ah hear,
> > but back then it wah t'undertakers.
> > Cookson Brothuhs at t'end o't streeat.
> > 'osses wi'black plumes on thur 'eeads
> > an' a luvly 'erse, all black and silver.
> > Luvely way to gooah!
> > Ah ed to weear a top 'at and t 'lot
> > an sit theer lukkin' proper miserable and respectful,
> > they even pahdered mi face white.
> > Aye, ah cud 'andle 'osses wi t'best on 'em, reet enuff
> > but shavin' a corpse, well, summah its not same thing.
> >
> > Dust knaw, he sed,
> > certin things go on wukkin' aftuh tha's cocked thi clogs.
> > Noah, nawther did ah till ah 'ed tuh shave Simmy.
> > Yuh see thi beard gus on growin' after tha's clocked aht
> > so ah 'ad to shave 'em so they looked neat and reet
> > when they wuh laid aht in thu front rooms
> > an' thi stummick goes on wukkin', too, digestin' an that.
> >
> > Ah wuh shavin' Simmy,
> > Simeon 'ardcastle, young Martin's granddad,
> > but sithee say nowt, doan't goah upsettin' fowks for noah reason,
> > but ah wuh shavin' 'im,
> > an' that wuh queer enuff withaht owt else,
> > an' 'e must ' ave et earty at 'is last meal
> > cos as ah leaned on his stummick
> > latherin' 'is jaw,
> > he belched, reet in mi face, a reet rift,
> > like a clap o'thunder,
> > ah felt t'wind on it on mi hand
> > a reet weird cowd breeze.
> > Well, jug o lather an t'brush wuh inta wun cornah
> > an' t'cut throwat inter t'other
> > an' ah wuh aht a theer lahk a greyahnd out on its trap.
> >
> > As ah say ah ony wukkt theear a cupple a wiks.
> > ah mean 'andling 'osses is one thing
> > but shavin' bad-mannered corpses
> > as can't say pardin is anothuh.
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