on 6/1/02 8:12 pm, Perpetua Pullman at [log in to unmask] wrote:
> I'm sorry to have to say so, Sally, but this doesn't do anything much for
> me. translating archaicsims into PC-speak can be funny, but this doesn't
> quite hit the spot. I wonder if it is because the job is half done, leaving
> some of the antiquites intact and other lines destroying the metre in an
> attmempt to cram in modern references?
>
> P-P
>
Well Perpy, perhaps I shouldnt have offered this for c & c because its
really a take-it-or-leave-it joke. I stand by the rhythms; I stand by the
archaic language. But even jokes have to be right and I muddled one line:
through misremembering line four. The corrected version reads:
the commerce zone now doth like recycled clothing wear....
betcha like that even less! Sally-ee.
>> From: Sally Evans <[log in to unmask]>
>> Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Subject: New sub: PC version...
>> Date: Sun, 6 Jan 2002 14:48:29 +0000
>>
>> PC version of Upon Westminster Bridge
>>
>> Earth hath not anything to show more fair.
>> Dull would he or she be of soul who could pass by
>> a sight so touching in its popular consensus leadership.
>> The commerce zone now doth like the autumn bear
>> the beauty of the morning: un-noise polluted, traffic-free,
>> ships, twin towers, millennium domes, theatres and places of worship lie
>> open unto the fields and to the ozone layer,
>> all bright and glittering in the regularly monitored air.
>> Never did sun more beautifully steep
>> in its first splendour valley, outdoor climbing facility, or hill,
>> Nešer saw I, never felt a relaxation technique so deep:
>> the river glideth at its own fattening will
>> Hi religious deity, the very residential units seem asleep,
>> and all that mighty heart is lying still.
>>
>> Sally-ee
>> (sorry some of the lines are ather long)
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