Yes, Xena, with an X, arghx.

And Mairead, how right you are: I am The Man of Steel. Keep that
Kryptonite away from me.

OK, here, for starters, are some images that haunt me:


Byrne::Batgirl (Goodness drives her, but she's bad when she has
to be bad to people who are bad.)

Bircumshaw::Mothra (One scary bird, but an hour and a half into
the movie and you are feeling sorry for her.)

Croggon::The Good Witch of the East (She is extremely beautiful,
and there are two hundred and seventeen midgets blabbering down
the yellow brick road behind her.)

Upton::Ariel Sharon (I don't know why, but something tells me
these two Fat Bastards would get along famously.)

Hamilton::Mr. Bean (When he's sober.)

Kinsella::Ern Malley (His power flows from absence.)

Fox::Michael Jackson (The motherfucker can *dance*!)

Passananti::Dante (She descended into Hell, said "Fuck *this*
shit," and now divides her time quite pleasantly between Milan and
Oxford.)

Ward::The Giant She-Mantis Which Destroyed The Tokyo City Of
(You don't see many of them, but when you do, heads crunch like
croutons.)

Gould::Queen Elizabeth or James Bond (I can't decide which. And
the fate of the Western world depends on the choice!)

Pollock::Yassir Arafat (You know he secretly fantasizes about the
man. Pictures him wearing bra and panties...)

Parker::Emily Dickinson (If there weren't a few decent guys, the
world would be fucked, so thank you Frank.)

Healy::Harry Truman (Sometimes he seems extremely folksy and
nice-like, and at other times he commits sudden horrible atrocities
against masses of innocent civilians.)

Debrot::Osama bin Laden (He is here among us, a suitcase full of
anthrax, and nobody knows it.)

Bernstein::John Ashcroft (I know he's not on the list, but his
horrible and terrifying and totalitarian influence is spreading. Hug
your children.)

Riley::Edgar Allan Poe (I know he's not on this list either, but what
the hell, I'll say it anyway: Everyday he has his picture taken with a
wild raven perched on his chair, two inches from his casual hand,
and he looks into the camera as if it's just another shift at the
office.)

Walker::Margaret Thatcher (I always had a soft spot for her, oddly
enough.)

Ballardini::Spiderman (*Someone's got to shoot filament out of her
fingers and stick to imaginary buildings.)

Weiss::Elvis Presley (Some say he is dead; others say they have
seen him in Havana, walking campily down the Malecon, his velvet
cape making a great flapping noise in the night.)