It is a well-known and established truth, proven by scientific
investigation, the yet to be launched KEPLER telescope, and my uncle Fred,
that the chicken crossed the road in order to help a little old lady on the
other side across.
Serious doubts, though, have been raised about whether the little old lady
wanted to cross the road in the first place.
There has also been concern regarding whether she was a member of the
Simpson lineage, in which case the chicken's altruism might have met a sad
fate.
Best
(wink)
Dave
David Bircumshaw
Leicester, England
Home Page
A Chide's Alphabet
Painting Without Numbers
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/index.htm
----- Original Message -----
From: "Alison Croggon" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, April 18, 2002 10:50 AM
Subject: Fwd: FW: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>From: Laura Harris <[log in to unmask]>
>To:
>Subject: FW: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2002 14:45:41 +1000
>
>
>
>
>
>>>Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>>>PHILLIP RUDDOCK: I don't care why the chicken
>crossed the road it should be sent back to where it
>came from. Who knows what might happen if we keep
>letting any old chicken cross the road. We could be
>inundated with them. Send them to the farmer up the
>road a bit and we can pay him to deal with the
>problem.
>>>JEFF KENNETT: If the chicken did cross the road it
>should have been fitted with an etag and should pay
>the same toll as all other road users.
>>>STEVE BRACKS: Regional chickens should have the same
>opportunities to cross roads as chickens living in
>Melbourne.
>>>JOHN HOWARD: The chick never crossed the road. And
>it was not forcibly removed from its mother! Anyway,
>that's a matter for the states and is of no interest
>to us. The united nations should butt out.
>>>SIMON CREAN: There WAS a chicken and it DID cross
>the road. This is a deliberate act by the government
>to hide the fact that chickens continue to cross
>Australian roads
>>>NATASHA STOTT-DESPOJA: What if it was not a chicken
>but a bantam? Minority sectors of our community
>shouldn't be discriminated against based purely on the
>size of their eggs and legs.
>>>EVELYN SCOTT: To demonstrate a commitment to
>reconciliation with Indigenous chickens.
>>>PETER COSTELLO: Accordingly to documentation
>submitted to the Live Foods Processing Authority, the
>chicken in question was uncooked at the Time of its
>journey and therefore will not incur a GST charge.
>However, if that chicken actually crossed the road for
>profit, regardless of its raw/cooked status, the road
>crossing would be considered by the ATO to be a
>service for which GST will be imposed.
>>>PAULINE HANSON: Please explain.
>>>ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken
>crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me?
>>>MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all
>chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or
>speckled, will be free to cross roads without having
>their motives called into question.
>>>GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
>crossed the road. If someone told us that the chicken
>crossed and that was good enough for us.
>>>REV FRED NILE: Because the chicken is gay! Isn't it
>obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front
>of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other
>side'. That's what 'they call it: the 'other side'.
>Yes, my friends.
>>>CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: to boldly go where no chicken
>has gone before.
>>>FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own
>eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you
>believe it's true?
>>>HANSIE CRONJE: What if I could guarantee that it
>won't get to the other side?
>>>FREUD: the fact that you are at all concerned that
>the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
>sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?
>>>THE C.I.A: Who told you about the chicken? Did you
>see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step
>into the car.
>>>EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or
>did the road move beneath the chicken?
>>>BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
>chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define
>the word 'chicken'.
>>>HOMER SIMPSON: mmmm Chicken.
>
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--
"The only real revolt is the revolt against war."
Albert Camus
Alison Croggon
Home page
http://www.users.bigpond.com/acroggon/
Masthead Online
http://au.geocities.com/masthead_2/
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