On Saturday 05 January 2002 10:42, Dave wrote:
> I think, or rather suspect, that one of
> the pifalls that language-centred persons, as poets tend to be, is that we
> instinctively feel that those who use language like a soggy pork pie, circa
> British Rail 1946 not sold until 199-something, after travelling the
> lengths and breadths (notice those clever 's's, to avoid the cliché) must
> therefore be our intellectual inferiors.
I think you'd be surprised how technically difficult journalism news writing
can be. I have used the short news item (known as the inverted pyramid form)
as an exercise when teaching precise and clear writing techniques.
For example, take this jumble of information and turn it into a news report:
[Eye witness report, name withheld] I just heard the helicopter flying
overhead. it was a nice sunny afternoon and I was just going for walk to get
my mail. Then bang, the helicopter just fell out of the sky onto the car. I
heard someone inside screaming then a ball of fire. The helicopter was
smashed by the car and the car was then burnt up by the helicopter. [Police
report] The driver of the car was a male in his early 20s. The helicopter
pilot was an experienced pilot in his mid 50s with several years flying
experience. The Bell King helicopter may have suffered apparent engine
failure and it is also suspected the rear rotor may have failed before the
engine causing it to lose control and crash into a blue Mercedes, traveling
in a westerly direction 23 kilometres from Windy on the Queenly Highway and 4
kilometres from Barran. The accident happened unexpectably and only a
helicopter and car were involved with two fatalities on Wednesday, 22nd
October, 2003. The names of the victims will be released when next of kin are
notified of their deaths.
The inverted pyramid form is (from memory so I could be wrong)
When (usually date and time)
Where (location)
What (what happened)
How
Why (optional depending on space)
The news report is for the Barran Daily times, a regional city daily. Now the
above information has to be written up into no more then five pars
(paragraphs) of one sentence per par. Verbs must be active. No passive verbs,
adjectives, metaphors or similes allowed. (I usually show examples and
explain them first but from here I go: you have three minutes, beginning
now!) You'd be surprised how difficult people find this. (I will give more
time after the three minutes is up to complete it in a more relaxed
fashion.)
It would probably be an interesting exercise for poets to try who have never
been trained in or had to write the traditional inverted pyramid form.
best
Chris Jones
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