Dear All

Please find below a list of actual doctor treatment notes on patients. It
was found while I was a a joke site - www.jokes.com - there are several more
medical jokes on the page - some very funny indeed.

But on reading the list below, it made me think of what I actually write in
my records and if heaven forbid I was taken to court; will I have a foot to
stand on!! (sorry for the pun)

Just goes to show that we as a profession have to be very specific in what
and how we write treatment records.

Hope you laugh as much as I did on reading the list below; but BEWARE there
are more serious complications at foot (oops I meant to say "at hand"). A
slip of the pen, could cost you your job!!

Regards

Tony Munday

Actual Medical Chart Notes


1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it
disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7.Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a
40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. She is numb from her toes down.
15. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
16. The skin was moist and dry.
17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she
got a divorce.
20. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
22. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
23. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized.
24. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
25. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.
26. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
27. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
28. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ____, who felt we should sit on
the abdomen and I agree.
29. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
30. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot
in bed last night.
31. Patient was found in bed with her power mower.





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