Nice one!
Have a good glass of malt - sorry I meant have a good Christmas
John Tutton
APU
On Mon, 16 Dec 2002 20:10:49 +0000 Glenn Raybone
<[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> At this time of year I would like to raise attention of seasonal hazards,
> pertaining to the humble Christmas Tree.
>
> Firstly the pines can cause nasty skin piercings and whilst BBV is not a
> particular problem here the resultant swearing can cost a couple of pounds
> in the swear box.
>
> Getting the tree in the correct "vertical" position also causes a
> significant increase in stress, and the best remedy for this is often the
> simplest.....
>
> (1) get the good wife to assist
> (2) a nice drop of malt
>
> The baubles, particularly those that break, can be very hazardous, and
> these easily fall and smash when assisted by a dogs tail. Sweep up the
> debris, and place outside along with the offending dog.
>
> Fairly lights are the single most significant cause of marrital breakdown
> at this time of year and the phrase "well they worked last year when they
> were put away" only increases the overall tension.
>
> (1) step back
> (2) Have another glass of malt
> (3) relax
> (4) put £5 in the swear box
> (5) start again (you should be well covered for at least 10 minutes of
> light testing and cursing)
>
> Once all is complete, all that is left to do is sit back and enjoy your
> third glass of malt.
>
> and so where was i, yes, the lights are straight, the pine baubles outside,
> the tree is lit and i'm not sure where that glass has gone, or was it the
> dog's tail.......?
>
>
> Happy Christmas all!!!
>
> Glenn Raybone
> Royal Wolverhampton Hospitals NHS Trust
----------------------
John Tutton
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