SPEAKING AS A SCOT you do like a drop of the malt I notice mairi
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From: Glenn Raybone
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Seasonal Hazards
Date: 16 December 2002 20:10
At this time of year I would like to raise attention of seasonal hazards,
pertaining to the humble Christmas Tree.
Firstly the pines can cause nasty skin piercings and whilst BBV is not a
particular problem here the resultant swearing can cost a couple of pounds
in the swear box.
Getting the tree in the correct "vertical" position also causes a
significant increase in stress, and the best remedy for this is often the
simplest.....
(1) get the good wife to assist
(2) a nice drop of malt
The baubles, particularly those that break, can be very hazardous, and
these easily fall and smash when assisted by a dogs tail. Sweep up the
debris, and place outside along with the offending dog.
Fairly lights are the single most significant cause of marrital breakdown
at this time of year and the phrase "well they worked last year when they
were put away" only increases the overall tension.
(1) step back
(2) Have another glass of malt
(3) relax
(4) put £5 in the swear box
(5) start again (you should be well covered for at least 10 minutes of
light testing and cursing)
Once all is complete, all that is left to do is sit back and enjoy your
third glass of malt.
and so where was i, yes, the lights are straight, the pine baubles outside,
the tree is lit and i'm not sure where that glass has gone, or was it the
dog's tail.......?
Happy Christmas all!!!
Glenn Raybone
Royal Wolverhampton Hospitals NHS Trust
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