Dear Sir/Madam*,
Your "game" has been brought to our attention by our client, The
Professional and Para-Professional Staff of the Library of the Royal
College of Surgeons of England (henceforth "The Library of the Royal
College of Surgeons of England" for the sake of brevity, notwithstanding
any decision to review this decision at a future as unspecified date or
time).
Whilst The Library of the Royal College of Surgeons of England accepts
the overall concept of seasonal banter and lightheartedness, The Library
of the Royal College of Surgeons of England has voiced certain
objections to a specific example of comparison herein. The Library of
the Royal College of Surgeons of England (henceforth "our client")
welcomes any identification with Edward Kennedy "Duke" Ellington, and is
prepared to accept identification with Norman "Bite Yer Legs" Hunter in
the aforementioned seasonal spirit.
However it is felt that any direct juxtaposition of our client with
alleged chanteuse Ms. Celine Dion constitutes a material breach of UN
Resolution 453J2 defining the legitimate usage of satire in the
electronic environment, not to mention flagrantly flouting precedent in
cas law, Regina vs Frost, Sherrin, Martin et al.
Furthermore our client asserts that:
* It has never knowingly represented Switzerland in the Eurovision
Song Contest;
* It has never knowingly proffered any of its usership the advice
to "Baby, think twice" (although we are informed that an internal Rapid
Response Unit has been instigated to investigate the claim that a junior
member of staff indicated, whether inadvertently or with malice
aforethought, that a surgeon should "Be sure before you close that door,
before you roll that dice"; we are currently preparing a health and
safety defence.);
* It has never knowingly been held responsible for the sinking of
a 46,238 ton ocean-going vessel and subsequent loss of life.
Our client is prepared to settle out of court to prevent this matter
escalating. The preferred course of action is that of scapegoating, to
wit reassigning the comparison to another body or organisation. Our
client suggests that, given the extensive oral redefinition of Ms.
Dion's buccal cavity, the Library of the British Dental Association
would be acceptable as a recipient.
We await your response.
[Dictated but not signed in the continued absence of clarity regarding
the validity of electronic signatures]
Senior Partner,
Morecambe Wise Lennon McCartney (pending titular amendment to Morecambe
Wise McCartney Lennon).
* Morecambe Wise Lennon McCartney accept no liability for any gender
confusion resulting from this statement or any exacerbation of such
condition extant at the time of reading.
[Forwarded from our legal representatives by Tom Bishop, The Royal
College of Surgeopns of England Library.]
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