[Enjoyed this. John.]
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-----Original Message-----
From: futurefeedforward [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: 20 June 2002 04:54
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Rebel Corporations Storm Gaza, West Bank
June 3, 2052
Rebel Corporations Storm Gaza, West Bank
GAZA--In a surprise move Wednesday, squads of U.S. and
multinational corporations seized control of key strategic
sites throughout Gaza and the West Bank, demanding an end to
Palestinian policies disfavoring capital movements and the
distribution of consumer goods. "This is not an act of
aggression," explains Dobie Greengrass, VP of Insurgency and
Pacification at Procter & Gamble. "Our sole aim is to ensure the
security of our customers. Our customers have rights that shall
not be overcome."
The attack, timed to coincide with a local bank holiday and the
closure of local bourses, struck private and public targets
across the region, including utilities and key media assets.
"I've never seen anything like it," exclaims Euclid Finda,
Executive Director of Gaza Bank. "Simultaneous buying on a
massive scale. Total carnage. Within a matter of 72 hours the
rebels had apparent control of eight of the nine largest
Palestinian companies. And whatever they didn't own, they
burned."
Making use of what have been characterized as 'slash and burn'
tactics, the rebels, lead by prominent U.S. consumer products
manufacturers, purchased controlling interest in the
Palestinian economy, embargoing or driving into bankruptcy
firms they could not purchase. "My business is ruined, and for
what?" asks an unidentified West Bank retailer. "My supply lines
are cut off. Nobody will sell to me. How long can I hold out without
fresh inventory?"
Within hours of the attack, rebel managers, accountants, and
consultants descended upon the country, occupying boardrooms,
coffee shops, and hotel conference centers. "Sure, there's some
danger," notes a member of a squad of elite McKinsey & Co.
consultants. "Most of these investments are likely to end up
worthless. But you accept danger when you're fighting the good
fight. That's the job we're here to do."
International reaction to the attack was quick, but cautious.
"It is not our mandate to intervene in the internal affairs of
member nations," explains U.N. General Secretary Maria
Trafficante. "The Security Council is monitoring the situation
closely, but, to date, no motion has been made towards a serious
resolution on the issue either way."
Employees of insurgent companies showed their support on Friday
by wearing specially designed green ribbons. "I'm proud of
them," says an AOL employee of his fellow employees who seized
control of Palestinian state-run television. "This is a good day
for AOL, and a great day for the Palestinian people."
Asked about the duration of the occupation, P&G's Greengrass,
speaking for the rebel coalition, declined to characterize the
action as an occupation. "This is not an occupation; it's a
liberation. It's about ensuring that people everywhere have the
right to buy and enjoy the goods to which they aspire."
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