[Hi all, I thought I would send this one on from Bruce Sterling's posse. Imust say it brightened up my morning. I think people have already said that
there should be 2 Olympic games: one with as many drugs as it is possible
for any human to withstand and one without. I particularly like the idea of
'Armchair Athlete' standard but must confess it will take me sometime to
reach it ... John.]
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-----Original Message-----
From: futurefeedforward [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: 28 April 2002 21:53
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Exercising Athletes Undermine Drug Olympics
August 23, 2060
Exercising Athletes Undermine Drug Olympics
GENEVA--Hot on the heels of widespread charges that selected
competitors' doses at this year's Olympic games had been 'cut'
with various inactive ingredients, officials from the
International Olympic Committee are responding to recent
claims by both the U.S. and British teams that athletes from as
many as 16 other countries have been engaging in illegal exercise
regimens designed to increase their resistance to and ability to
metabolize a number of competition-grade drugs. "We have been
made aware of allegations of unapproved exercise," notes IOC
spokesman Kipper Pecka. "We take such allegations very
seriously and will investigate them vigorously and in
accordance with established IOC procedures."
In recent weeks, a number of American and British athletes have
made skeptical remarks to the press about opponents' exercise
regimens.
Alistair Griffet, a world-record-holder in three separate
huffing events, has remarked of the Taiwanese athlete known
simply as 'Q': "I mean look at that guy; look at the lungs on him. You
can just tell that he's been doing wind sprints for months to get
ready for this."
Though somewhat ambiguous, IOC regulations prohibit
competitors from pursuing any "program, system, or regimen of
physical exercise designed to affect performance in a
sanctioned, licensed, franchised, or participating
competition." IOC guidelines based on the rule have developed
what is known as the 'Armchair Athlete' standard, suggesting
that competitors are not permitted to engage in any exercise
beyond that typical of "the average resident of the 8 (eight) most
industrialized countries."
Under pressure from a coalition of National Olympic Committees
to clarify the 'Armchair' standard, the IOC released last year a
list of 1,203 banned exercises, including "jogging,"
"sprinting," "jumping jacks," "deep knee-bends," "heavy
lifting," "yoga," "stair-climbing," and "prolonged
standing."
Despite these steps, most Olympic athletes remain skeptical,
but resigned.
"They try to stop it, but what can you do?" asks Canadian Jennifer
Loleaf, a contender in both the 5 and 10 gram Kibbles-n-bits. "I
personally know that I'm going to be going up against a number of
athletes that have done a lot more than smoke crack to get ready for
this competition. But there's no room for excuses. It's just
something I can think about to challenge myself more."
"Yeah," explains Henry Wong, U.S. favorite in the 10-minute
Woolah. "Yeah, heh heh. It's all good."
Speaking for the IOC, Pecka promises a "rapid and just
resolution" to all complaints, but confides that reports of
illegal exercise are most likely excessive. "As with the recent
allegations that doses in the 3-line and 4-line sprints had been
cut with chalk by bribed officials, I suspect that there'll be
nothing substantial behind these charges. People's
imaginations get overexcited. The competition, the pressure,
it's all very intense. People sometimes go more by what they want
to believe of their opponents than by what they actually know
about them."
Olympic competition is scheduled to conclude next Tuesday, with
closing ceremonies slated for the following weekend.
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