This was the runner-up in SatireWire's 2001 Poetry Spam (freestyle
category), and I think Spike would have liked it:
The 23d Spam
By "Sam the Psalmist"
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth me beside the still waters,
He restoreth my credit and consolidateth my debts
For as little as $1,750,
If I act now.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me,
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me,
And can now be 50 Percent Larger in Three Weeks.
Guaranteed.
Thou preparest a table before me
In the presence of mine enemies,
Thou annointest my head with oil,
My cup runneth over.
But as an added bonus,
I will receive $1,000.00 cash,
If I complete thy online registration form today.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell forever,
In the House of the Lord,
Which I shall refinanceth,
To take advantage
Of the lowest mortgage rates in years.
Going off line now for a few days, worn out by all the Free Mobile Phone
offers and worse. Don't let yourselves get toooo heteronymous while I'm
gone, wilya? Oh, and do check out the website for the upcoming conference on
"Autonomous Agents & Multiagent Systems" in Bologna (July 15-19), as the
paper topics are fascinating (maybe the poetry lists lately afflicted with
these "agents" should put together a panel!). Here are a few representative
titles from the program (http://www.ca.umn.edu/aamas2002/):
"Real-time Cooperative Multi-target Tracking by Communicating Active Vision
Agents"
"Skeleton-based Agent Development for Electronic Institutions"
"An Improved Matchmaking Algorithm for Middle Agents" (i.e., minions)
"On the Development of Cooperative Behavior-based Mobile Manipulators"
"Self-Organising Communities Formed by Middle Agents"
"Supervised Interaction - Creating a Web of Trust for Contracting Agents in
Electronic Environments"
"A Step toward Irrationality: Using Emotion to Change Belief"
"Robustness of Reputation-based Trust"
"Development of a Human Agent for a Multi-Agent-Based Human-Robot
Interaction"
Candice
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