many on this list will be familiar with michael moore's work
makes a nice antidote to the coverage we're suffering in the uk
steve hinchliffe


> Subject:      The Comedy Workshop Monthly Update 09.01
>
> THE COMEDY WORKSHOP
>
> September 01 Update
>
> In an attempt to make some sense of the recent tragic events, this edition
> of the Comedy Workshop Update is devoted to an email written on the day of
> the attacks on New York and Washington. The author is US presenter Michael
> Moore (The Awful Truth).
>
> Dear friends,
>
> I was supposed to fly today on the 4:30 PM American Airlines flight from
> LAX
> to JFK. But tonight I find myself stuck in L.A. with an incredible range
> of
> emotions over what has happened on the island where I work and live in New
> York City.
>
> My wife and I spent the first hours of the day-after being awakened by
> phone
> calls from our parents at 6:40am. PT - trying to contact our daughter at
> school in New York and our friend JoAnn who works near the World Trade
> Center. I called JoAnn at her office. As someone picked up, the first
> tower
> imploded, and the person answering the phone screamed and ran out, leaving
> me no clue as to whether or not she or JoAnn would live.
>
> It was a sick, horrible, frightening day.
>
> On December 27, 1985 I found myself caught in the middle of a terrorist
> incident at the Vienna airport - which left 30 people dead, both there and
> at the Rome airport. (The machine-gunning of passengers in each city was
> timed to occur at the same moment.) I do not feel like discussing that
> event
> tonight because it still brings up too much despair and confusion as to
> how
> and why I got to live. A fluke, a mistake, a few feet on the tarmac, and I
> am still here, there but for the grace of.
>
> Safe. Secure. I'm an American, living in America. I like my illusions. I
> walk through a metal detector, I put my carry-ons through an x-ray
> machine,
> and I know all will be well. Here's a short list of my experiences lately
> with airport security:
>
> * At the Newark Airport, the plane is late at boarding everyone. The
> counter
> can't find my seat. So I am told to just "go ahead and get on"- without a
> ticket!
>
> * At Detroit Metro Airport, I don't want to put the lunch I just bought at
> the deli through the x-ray machine so, as I pass through the metal
> detector,
> I hand the sack to the guard through the space between the detector and
> the
> x-ray machine. I tell him "It's just a sandwich." He believes me and
> doesn't
> bother to check. The sack has gone through neither security device.
>
> * At LaGuardia in New York, I check a piece of luggage, but decide to
> catch
> a later plane. The first plane leaves without me, but with my bag-no one
> knowing what is in it.
>
> * Back in Detroit, I take my time getting off the commuter plane. By the
> time I have come down its stairs, the bus that takes the passengers to the
> terminal has left-without me. I am alone on the tarmac, free to wander
> wherever I want. So I do. Eventually, I flag down a pick-up truck and an
> airplane mechanic gives me a ride the rest of the way to the terminal.
>
> * I have brought knives, razors; and once, my traveling companion brought
> a
> hammer and chisel. No one stopped us.
>
> Of course, I have gotten away with all of this because the airlines
> consider
> my safety SO important, they pay rent-a-cops $5.75 an hour to make sure
> the
> bad guys don't get on my plane. That is what my life is worth - less than
> the cost of an oil change.
>
> Too harsh, you say? Well, chew on this: a first-year pilot on American
> Eagle
> (the commuter arm of American Airlines) receives around $15,000 a year in
> annual pay. That's right -- $15,000 for the person who has your life in
> his
> hands. Until recently, Continental Express paid a little over $13,000 a
> year. There was one guy, an American Eagle pilot, who had four kids so he
> went down to the welfare office and applied for food stamps-and he was
> eligible!
>
> Someone on welfare is flying my plane? Is this for real? Yes, it is.
>
> So spare me the talk about all the precautions the airlines and the FAA is
> taking. They, like all businesses, are concerned about one thing - the
> bottom line and the profit margin.
>
> Four teams of 3-5 people were all able to penetrate airport security on
> the
> same morning at 3 different airports and pull off this heinous act? My
> only
> response is - that's all?
>
> Well, the pundits are in full diarrhea mode, gushing on about the
> "terrorist
> threat" and today's scariest dude on planet earth - Osama bin Laden. Hey,
> who knows, maybe he did it.
>
> But, something just doesn't add up. Am I being asked to believe that this
> guy who sleeps in a tent in a desert has been training pilots to fly our
> most modern, sophisticated jumbo jets with such pinpoint accuracy that
> they
> are able to hit these three targets without anyone wondering why these
> planes were so far off path? Or am I being asked to believe that there
> were
> four religious/political fanatics who JUST HAPPENED to be skilled airline
> pilots who JUST HAPPENED to want to kill themselves today? Maybe you can
> find one jumbo jet pilot willing to die for the cause - but FOUR?
>
> Ok, maybe you can - I don't know.
>
> What I do know is that all day long I have heard everything about this bin
> Laden guy except this one fact -WE created the monster known as Osama bin
> Laden! Where did he go to terrorist school? At the CIA! Don't take my word
> for it - I saw a piece on MSNBC last year that laid it all out. When the
> Soviet Union occupied Afghanistan, the CIA trained him and his buddies in
> how to commit acts of terrorism against the Soviet forces. It worked! The
> Soviets turned and ran. Bin Laden was grateful for what we taught him and
> thought it might be fun to use those same techniques against us.
>
> We abhor terrorism - unless we're the ones doing the terrorizing. We paid
> and trained and armed a group of terrorists in Nicaragua in the 1980s who
> killed over 30,000 civilians. That was OUR work. You and me. Thirty
> thousand
> murdered civilians and who the hell even remembers! We fund a lot of
> oppressive regimes that have killed a lot of innocent people, and we never
> let the human suffering THAT causes to interrupt our day one single bit.
> We
> have orphaned so many children, tens of thousands around the world, with
> our
> taxpayer-funded terrorism (in Chile, in Vietnam, in Gaza, in Salvador)
> that
> I suppose we shouldn't be too surprised when those orphans grow up and are
> a
> little whacked in the head from the horror we have helped cause.
>
> Yet, our recent domestic terrorism bombings have not been conducted by a
> guy
> from the desert but rather by our own citizens: a couple of ex-military
> guys
> who hated the federal government. From the first minutes of today's
> events,
> I never heard that possibility suggested. Why is that? Maybe it's because
> the A-rabs are much better foils.
>
> A key ingredient in getting Americans whipped into a frenzy against a new
> enemy is the all-important race card. It's much easier to get us to hate
> when the object of our hatred doesn't look like us. Congressmen and
> Senators
> spent the day calling for more money for the military; one Senator on CNN
> even said he didn't want to hear any more talk about more money for
> education or health care - we should have only one priority: our
> self-defense.
>
> Will we ever get to the point that we realize we will be more secure when
> the rest of the world isn't living in poverty so we can have nice running
> shoes?
>
> In just 8 months, Bush gets the whole world back to hating us again. He
> withdraws from the Kyoto agreement, walks us out of the Durban conference
> on
> racism, insists on restarting the arms race - you name it, and Baby Bush
> has
> blown it all.
>
> The Senators and Congressmen tonight broke out in a spontaneous version of
> "God Bless America." They're not a bad group of singers!
>
> Yes, God, please do bless us.
>
> Many families have been devastated tonight. This just is not right. They
> did
> not deserve to die.
>
> If someone did this to get back at Bush, then they did so by killing
> thousands of people who DID NOT VOTE for him! Boston, New York, DC, and
> the
> planes' destination of California - these were places that voted AGAINST
> Bush! Why kill them? Why kill anyone? Such insanity.
>
> Let's mourn, let's grieve, and when it's appropriate let's examine our
> contribution to the unsafe world we live in.
>
> It doesn't have to be like this.
>
> Yours,
>
>
> Michael Moore
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