hi frank,
there' are things about this that I like a lot & can't put to words. That
said, I'll just babble. I think that this line: " with horror at the
creeping disturbance of skin" is great & after the 1st read imagined some
use of it for a more effective title? On first read the initial S was not
very engaging ~ not sure why, just sounded a bit clinical, sort of too
instructive, or as the title says, too thinking? I really notice whatever
'it' is that trips me up when you switch from "I" to "so much can be
revealed" in L7. After the first S, the rest reads well & is* engaging. I
love where the work 'goes,' ~ a terrific ending. So, after subsequent
readings I guess I'd suggest you see/feel how the work reads without the 1st
S ~ what it adds, for me, is a comparison that actually distracts from the
well put & effective rest. Does that make sense? Thanks for the read.
later
calaya
~~
> I think about hands a lot
> mine are soft and have a great capacity
> for delicacy I'm told
> in some ways it may be true
> that I see aspects of the world through touch
> through fingertips with eyes closed
> so much can be revealed
> a tasting of textures and response to pressure
> rough and smooth hot and cold
> wet and dry soft and hard
> making intimacy a living thing that is physically real
> while shaping mental images and sensations
> that become response triggers and pathways
> to satisfaction and realisation
>
> I think about hands a lot
> with horror at the creeping disturbance of skin
> by recurrence of watery pustules rising like bubbling mud
> over two days to burst and form dead slough patches
> painful and bleeding cracked ugliness
> unfit either to touch or be touched
> a kind of pre-leprosy unclean unclean
> spreading from digit to digit
> causing shy unwillingness to explore or to feel
> the textureless shame of a sickness of the extremities
> hidden only by skillful furtiveness
>
> I have been watching the small finger of my right hand
> a lot lately
> there are small watery pustules rising
> some skin has been shed and a painful crack
> has opened up along the line of the first joint
>
> in my kitchen I have a sharpened knife
> I have been watching it a lot
> lately
>
> ~
>
> Frank
>
> The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at:
> http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm
>
>
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