Gary, reading this I was reminded of some of the letters that Ghandi wrote;
he often drew together aspects and the 'heroes' of different faiths to
illustrate the sameness of their messages.  The use of the word 'partition'
was perhaps the first trigger, that being the subject of most of his
writings in the last years of his life.  On the other hand, this reads like
at times like a lamentation in its use of rhetoric, and a psalm in mosts of
its constructions.  What threw me a little was the change of tack after the
fourth stanza where you seem to abandon the previously established form you
are working with.  I feel that there are
two, possibly three distinct pieces trying to emerge from this.  I think I
see what you are trying to achieve, and hope that you will persevere with
it.  Daniel:

LONG EXTRA COMMENT ON PSALMS:  Incidentally, the psalm is a fascinating
form, it classically adopts one of 11 subforms based on when or to who it
would be sung or sung by, alternatively, a different system of
classification based on content would identify 12 sub forms.
Were I to try and treat this as a psalm to classify, I would suggest that it
would best be served by the content based classification of psalm of
individual and psalm of a community speaking as individual (the first and
third modern classifications).

These sub forms broadly take the following style:   a, address to God(s).
b, Initial appeal, (arise, answer me, etc),  c, description of distress, d,
complaint against God (you havnt helped), e, petition - help me now, be near
me, f, motivation for God to hear: I will be good if, you will have shown
greatness and mercy to your people if,  g, damning your enemy, he lies, he
steals, he wouldn't know how to make peace if it hit him on the head like an
apple, h, request for justice/vengance; let them get their just deserts,  9,
establishing own inocence; I was sitting here praying for peace and then a
bomb hit my village,   10, confession of sin, but, I confess I could have
done more to be a peacemaker,  11, statement of trust, I know you will
listen, 12 promise to praise, 13, calls on others to praise, 14 praise, you
will, have delivered us.

I am not for one moment suggesting that you (or anyone) should seek to use
this model, but merely sharing a little of the theory and structure of a
form that it not widely studied but has endured in some form for a very long
time.   Due to the structue above, many psalms create a hypothetical
situation as their subject, as that appears easier when using a psalm as a
device to addresss the psalmist wanted to talk about; the point being that
most psalmists answer their own questions.  Hence, in your piece, I felt
this to have affinity with both the psalmody you refer to and utilise, and
also, the form of a lamenentation where the latter sections of resolution
and praise are omitted.  An un-answered psalm is by definition a statement
of in-completeness, things to be resolved, and so on.

I am intrigued by this, I look forward to hearing more of it.


Daniel.

Garydawg wrote:


not sure this does what I want, but there comes a time to ask others.  **
italics)

Psalms Unanswered

Do Mohammed and Moses stand before the Throne
and argue to partition Heaven according
to the olive trees left alive in Hebron?

Does Jesus move between them
a cheek offered to each with Mary
on his sleeve, her plea he not interfere?

Does Abraham lend his patriarchitude
to boost the argument of either son,
one now to be sacrificed for the other?

Do Krishna and Buddha stand aside
to wait their turn on Heaven's steps,
ownership of a fired earth the prize?

Who cries for Ali, Yosef,
Marie, Johann,
Yang Lee, Niamba
Crow's Feather?

**in the name of allahjehovathefathersonandholyghost
burn the hereticsinfidelsunbelievers**

torn hair
ashes
rend sackcloth
the most common commodities
available
in the world's bazaars

Who prays to appease Hagar's sorrow?
Who prayers for peace for Miriam?
Who dares stand before the Goddess
and ask:  Are there sons without daughters?
Husbands without wives? Fathers
without mothers?

gentle strokes
whispered love
common respect
rare
found only on dusty shelves

**mothermarygrantusgrace**