Seems to me very successful, Frank. I particularly
like 'to give them strength and shape'. maybe you
could cut out a but and an and in the second stanza.
cheers, cara
--- Frank Faust <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > do
you remember last year
> overgrown and overtangled?
> I cut them back to wood
> to give them strength and shape
> watched for first signs to see
> if I had been too harsh
> and then they grew
>
> I told you of the first buds
> that promised well for summer
> one fell away and died
> but five have opened up
> pale and pink and twice the size
> of anything we saw last year
> they moved me in a way
> I hadn't planned
>
> I spend a moment every evening
> watching as the light fades
> I don't know what I hope to see
> don't understand what draws me
> but I want to see these baby roses
> bursting open in new flowers
> on the wall a mass of waving colour
> fragrant and enchanted
> should you pass them
>
> ~
>
> Frank
>
> The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at:
> http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm
>
>
>
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