I think when we handle subjects like this there is a fine line between a
terrific poem and becoming rediculous. You are a good poet Gary but this one
is teetering on the borderline as its a little overblown. I liked all the
other poems based on scripture though this goes some way beyond and, not
meaning to be too heavy, containing a lot of cliched phrases and schmaltzy
sentiments. Come back the real Gary.
James Bell
>From: Gary Blankenship <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Eden
>Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2001 12:56:28 EDT
>
>Eden
>
>the perfect place
>a place of pleasure
>the most sacred place
>
>heaven brought to earth
>paradise
>valhalla
>happy hunting ground
>
>how we longed for the garden
>for when we were young
>innocent
>exposed
>we remember this our home
>
>when we wore skins
>huddled in caves
>ate meat charred
>worshipped thunder gods
>killed the great bear
>
>to dance around the fire
>till exhausted
>no longer innocent
>
>we knew each other
>and left the garden
>in our jealousy
>to laws and rules
>
>the perfect place
>a flawed memory
>
>
><A HREF="http://gardawg.homestead.com/homestead.html">Laura Guest for
>August, Gar at Home</A> <A
>HREF="http://www.writershood.com/index.html">Writer's Hood</A>
>
>Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
>
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