In a message dated 8/23/01 9:57:18 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< Eden
the perfect place
a place of pleasure
the most sacred place [I might skip this stanza and start below - took much
telling]
heaven brought to earth
paradise
valhalla
happy hunting ground [something else perhaps?]
how we longed for the garden
for when we were young
innocent
exposed
we remember this our home
when we wore skins [I want a more unique picture of this life; maybe
different details?]
huddled in caves
ate meat charred
worshipped thunder gods
killed the great bear
to dance around the fire
till exhausted '['til?]
no longer innocent
we knew each other
and left the garden
in our jealousy
to laws and rules [like this stanza - very human interpretation]
the perfect place
a flawed memory >> [great lines - like the perfect dead husband or wife -
flawed memory is that which our lives often are composed]
kol tuv, Ryfsis
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