This is very tricky to comment on Ryfkah because it's really a declaration
of faith and it's extremely difficult to comment on someone's declaration of
faith unless you relate directly to it.  But I think it almost works and the
repetition of 'You assert love' is very effective.  I'm not so convinced by
some of the imagery.  The first stanza works well for me.  I find the last
particularly difficult because the introduction of your name, rather than
use of the first person feels disconcerting and too indirect and I wonder
whether you intend it to be so?
bw
c

> Divine Assertion
>
>
> Within breath, You assert love
> Yet past death, You assert love
>
> Shattered Earth, You assert love
> Cosmic dearth, You assert love
>
> Wail sweet child, You assert love
> Wind flees wild, You assert love
>
> Paltry needs, You assert love
> Mankind heeds, You assert love
>
> Ryfkah spills surprising bliss
> Lord beyond, You assert love
>
>
>
> Ryfkah 8-19-01
>