John

This poem was my first attempt at the form.

Original draft was virtually the same in content but with a different line
order. The poem ended up as one sentence because it seemed too fractured
when broken up into several.

The image of age and love retreating and the way it forms an axis for the
poem's other elements so that they too get caught in this strange spacetime
loop of love and youth was the basis of the composition, all driven by a
_place_ where _time_ has taken not a toll but _control_.

I think the problem I have with it is that the i.p. is too strict and the
rhyme is too hard, but it is difficult to see what else I could have done
that wouldn't distract or detract from the content.

Roger

---------

Bob

The language used is just me and my age!
I am still in the 60s in a lot of ways, no specific intention there although
it is an interesting point to consider.

Roger.