Hi Ryfkh - my treatment of planets, moons and stars is a bit cavalier and
flawed - I need to do better astronomy or perhaps stay away - I used them
only because the notion of captivity - moon/planet around star - seemed a
different take on the theme. I'm not happy with it.
Thanks for the thoughtful comments - I'm unsure whether to try to expand and
put more story in as well as correct, or just correct and let it lie.
decisions, decisions LOL
Cheers,
Frank
The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at:
http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm
>
>I like the threaded poem; I think you could whittle down some of the moon
>parts, some repetition of message. I think the poem is very refreshing in
>its writing.
>
>kol tuv, Ryfkah
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