Hi Gary, nice imagery. You might consider a principal verb (not important
though) and the scansion/delivery comments I made in terms of Terri's #2
elsewhere on screen (perhaps more important).

Given that you are not using any direct juxtaposition the poem risks being
straight evocation of a single image-set in the form,
'statement/illustration'. Whilst pleasant and effective in itself it could
be observed that this is more typical of a cho-ku (a generic 'long' stanza)
from renga (linked verse) than a haiku. For the verse to stand alone, it is
argued, one might expect a degree of inflection, of surprise; an unresolved
undercurrent. My own tendency in these circumstances is to code a hint of
surprise into the last element.

Or something!! yrs fullabull. John



----- Original Message -----
From: "garydawg" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: 24 December 2001 17:50
Subject: Re: new zip


they aren't as easy as they look, are they?

Nope, not at all.  Another--

           memories     of simpler gifts
filled hard candy     and mixed nuts

Gary



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Poets for Peace.  ˇPoemas sí, balas no!