on 20/12/01 1:19 pm, James Bell at [log in to unmask] wrote:

> Another of those depressing poems. Thanks to all for response to "Unreal".
> This is in the same sequence.
>
> THE PEELING OF ONIONS
>
> It's been days
> and the loveliness of music
> has not reached me again
>
> The ears hear
> though some malfunction in the system
> does not feel - only aches
>
> inside a generalised sadness
> a dullness not even affected
> by the peling of onions
>
> layer by layer
> until there is only
> scattered shards of vegetable
>
> divested of physical
> use for metaphor
> now ready to be cooked and eaten
>
>
> bw
> James
>
Hi James,
I like this but not quite so much as Unreal. I'm  doubtful about the last
line of this, but can't wuite see what's wrong with it. I think 'cooked and
eaten' is too much of a change of tone and direction. the beginning isvery
nice, could you perhpas go back to a mention of music to round off the poem,
instead of the last line which I can't help feeling is a cop-out.

I do hope you are feeling better and don't worry, a lot of us have been
depressed it's all part of a long life once you are over it. I'm  not just
saying "I've been sad myself" as in Colin Will's (scots accent) spoof of a
counsellor. I can't resist quoting it:

from WONDERFUL, COUNSELLOR
by Colin Will (diehard).

yes, I know about depression,
I've been sad myself,
and as for drinking, well,
I've sunk a glass or two
in my time, once or twice,
I think it was twice.

Wife left you for another man?
How awful, I've seen that on the soaps.
Miscarriage? There, there,there's time,
you're young yet, and quite attractive.
Fallen for a fella?
Heavens, must be hard, Henry,
but these things happen,
so I've read.

If that doesn't cheer you up email me and tell me off, because that might.
bw Sally-ee.


>
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Hi James, this is another interesting poem, but I think I liiekd Unreal
better. I'm  not keen on the last line of this one but I can't see quite
what it is that's wrong if anything.