grasshopper, Very musical and thought-provoking .
Could you think of using the present tense throughout?
Should it be 'weird' in stanza 3 and would 'a mere
formality' sound better in the last?
cheers, cara
--- grasshopper <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Rite
>
> I felt the rough hemp
> that bound my wrists
> and with the halting
> of my hands
> my ears grew filaments
> into the fire-flecked air
> the darkness hovered over
> me like eager crows.
>
> I was silent
> I know enough
> to hoard my words.
> the earth wheeled
> towards morning
> as I waited.
>
> It came to me then
> on old furred feet
> and whispered
> into my nostrils
> fierce heat
> a din of dragons
> and the wierd
> of the great worms
> who feed on the roots
> of the world-tree.
>
> After that,
> the hanging
> was merely
> a formality.
>
> grasshopper
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