Thanks Sally (welcome!) and Terri for your
sympathetic and helpful comments.
cheers, cara
and--- alderoak <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Cara,
>
>
> > I would greatly value comments. I wonder if the
> > 'stuff' and 'Mum' and 'Dad' should beput into
> rather
> > more formal lang. cheers, cara
>
> I like the mixture of formal language and
> child-speak. I mirrors the way the
> memory is partly experienced as if the subject were
> there again and partly
> as if viewed from adulthood. If anything, I would
> suggest making more of
> this discrepancy.
>
> Terri )O(
>
> >
> > Siblings
> > --
> > Adult stuff is going on indoors.
> > Sent out to play,
> > we cleave to the back step;
> > pick at blisters in paint,
> > scabs on knees.
> >
> > I cry.
> >
> > I could have reason:
> > the night vigils have ceased;
> > the knee I used to climb onto
> > has straightened
> > into its final pose.
> >
> > I am four.
> >
> > I do not know about death.
> > Even Tammy, my imagined dog,
> > hero of legendary encounters,
> > has never ventured
> > close to a grave.
> >
> > My sister frowns.
> >
> > Scorn arches her nose and lip,
> > flares her beauty.
> > Four years my senior
> > she will always
> > shake me off, outrun me.
> >
> > 'Why are you crying?'
> >
> > She leans on the 'you',.
> > goes on to say
> > 'It's none of your concern:
> > after all it's down to Mum
> > whose Dad has gone'.
> >
> > I stop.
> >
> > I'd wanted to cry like Mum.
> > Instead I'm shamed,
> > shot through with 'hypocrisy',
> > though neither of us
> > know that name.
> >
> > Dry-eyed, stubborn, alone,
> > I pick at scabs on paint.
> >
> >
> >
> > cara decenber 2001
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
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