Hi Maryann,
Thanks for the useful nitpicks, consider them accepted. Thanks too for
hoping I had a book on the boil. Earliest offer I've had is 2003 for a
chapbook/pamphlet, but you never know. I'll be sure to let you all know.
bw
James
>From: Maryann Hazen-Stearns <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Revised sub: Like The River
>Date: Mon, 13 Aug 2001 06:22:54 -0700
>
>Hi James,
>
>Very nice re-envisioning. Couple nit-picks below:
>
>--- James Bell <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > I had lots of helpful suggestions on this one. Thanks to all who
> > commented
> > especially Tammy, Mick and John. It means I still have a poem which
> > hasn't
> > been binned. Comment still welcome on this version.
> >
> > LIKE THE RIVER
> >
> > Existence is transient -
> > waiting to reach the trash can -
> > each place we live
> > a storehouse of objects
> > that sit in our company
> > for a while until we
> > or they have gone. [perhaps consider a coma after 'we' and 'they'?]
> >
> > Our minds hold a memory
> > of everything, shed waste
> > as if through the dripping
> > of a faulty tap - like the river
> > here outside my window
> > is free to flow, its sinuous [maybe omit 'is']
> > liquid carry out all intentions. [I think the word 'carry' needs to be a
>different form; carries? carried?...]
> >
> > The river has carved out
> > a base of rock, silt and mud;
> > its purity tainted by mineral,
> > plant animal; the vagaries [coma after 'plant']
> > of a haughty humankind;
> > cleans its detritus away
> > with the purge of its own water. [Excellent]
> >
> > Before our very eyes
> > we watch and grasp for a word
> > to describe the moment,
> > add it to our stock of thoughts
> > that develop or drop to the bottom,
> > as water smoothes stone -
> > like the river soothes the mind.
> >
> > James Bell
> >
>
>Oh boy this is another goodun'. You know, everytime I read your work,
>James, I wonder if you've got a book or chapbook or something
>available...do you? I'd certainly be interested.
>
>CW, Mary :O)
>
>=====
>Good Cheer & Be Well,
>Maryann Hazen-Stearns
>"Under The Limbo Stick"
>http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
>also available at these locations:
>http://www.vivisphere.com http://www.amazon.com
>
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