Hi Christina,
I still have a couple of small problems - probably idiosyncratic, but...
'to trip and twist an ankle. ' looks like it needs to be 'trip over...'
'like great boats I've moored for years.' I would prefer expanded a little,
thusly: 'are like great boats that I have moored for years.' which of course
messes your line breaks up probably, but it feels to me like it needs a
fuller statement.
Anyway, that's my 2 bob's worth.
Cheers,
Frank
The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at:
http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm
> Letting Go
>
>
> It's time to strip paper
> and sand away the dented gloss.
> The attic's empty now - nothing
> to trip and twist an ankle.
>
> Your resin fawn, the Meissen lady
> and cute little black boy will go
> to The Heart Foundation. Mother,
> your clothes are too large, your shoes
>
> like great boats I've moored for years.
> Now I'll let them clip the coast
> or wade with beige ladies
> in practical anoraks.
>
> At last, it's time to let go -
> but I'll keep the soldered spoon
> that's worn thin and the ivory die
> we rolled together.
>
>
>
>
>
>christina fletcher
>
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