In a message dated 8/11/01 11:55:54 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:

<<        Annie


Annie went to work

for the nobs

up at the big house

said goodbye to her ma

and her brother [skip ands?]

and sisters

packed a package [neat package?]

with very little

neatly and set off [skip neatly?]


She lived high

in the eyrie attic

shared a narrow bed

with a kitchen maid

up at six and work

till ten at night  [I don't think this reads smoothly - maybe late at night?]

one afternoon off

every two weeks

and think yourself

lucky, girl


She worked as a lady's maid

laid out the bright

and glittering dresses

for the daughters

of the house

most of all she envied

their lingerie

so smooth and sleek and soft

Annie's underwear was wool  [good concrete image to contrast]

and itchy


One day clearing

a bedroom grate

to build a fire

Annie found something

crumpled up small

a paper ball

She smoothed it out

on her morning white apron

and looked at

the one pound note

She had never held

a pound note before


It was three week's wages

she sat back on her heels

and held it

and she looked  [skip and?]

and she wondered [skip and she?]

she knew that sometimes

the nobs left money

around deliberately

to test the honesty

of servants


Annie took the risk

and kept her place

she didn't save the money

didn't buy something

sensible

on her next afternoon off

she went into town

to a Lady's scented store


In her drab dress

a sparrow

amidst the pheasants  [nice metaphor]

she bought two nighties

straight from Paris

milky silky soft

when Annie wore therm

she felt like the queen [like this simile that ties in with the Parisian
nighties]

of France


            grasshopper >>

This narrative made me smile.

kol tuv, Ryfkah