Oops.  I detect a few typos in my revision suggestions.  I've fixed them.  I
know my suggestions are only that, and I see problems with flow in my
version, but I was following along with Gar's suggestions, and "saw" a few
other changes that I would make if it were my poem.
Terrie

> If I may?
> Terrie
>
> > I dream we fight
> > quietly
> >  furiously
>     while knitting sweaters
> > much too big
>     the  mad flash of silver swords
>     but no one
> > ever wears these sweaters
>     made to sop my blood
    to warm my fury
>
>
> > I cry to myself in dark silent places. I understand
> > these things until I don't understand anymore. I say
> > I'm happy and then wonder if I'm a liar
> > or if it matters or if I'm dreaming. I dream
> > we fight quietly as I furiously knit sweaters
> > that are much too big on needles that shine
> > like silver swords. Oh, I knit like mad but no one
> > can wear the sweaters; they never fit.
> >
> > I bit more prosy than normal for you and formless, also unusual. I
suggest
> > form, even S and some tightening to be a bit more you.
> >
> > If not form, then further from the block style:
> >
> > I dream we fight
> > quietly
> > as I furiously knit sweaters
> > much too big
> > on needles like silver swords.
> > I knit like mad
> > but no one
> > can wear the sweaters;
> > they never fit.
> >
> > Thanks.
> >
> > Gary
> >
> >
> > November with Janet from Oz at:
> http://gardawg.homestead.com/homestead.html,
> >
> > Submissions: http://www.writershood.com/index.html
> >
> > Poets for Peace.  ¡Poemas sí, balas no!