Oh why oh why is it so difficult for me to scan rhyme schemes! I thought
I'd copied it correctly...Thank you for these excellent rhymes. I'll revise
accordingly.
Terrie
> Hi Ter,
>
> Excellent stuff here, isn't it fun? I've think you've got your rhyme-lines
> mixed up though. I hope you don't mind, but I copied your triolet and
> revised a couple of lines (poorly, I might add!) to kind of demonstrate
> the form. But you know how it goes, these suggestions are your to use or
> loose as you see fit. It goes like this:
>
> 1. dream
> 2. wakened
> 3. seam
> 4. dream
> 5. steam
> 6. forsakened
> 7. dream
> 8. wakened
>
>
> 1. Serenaded within a dream
>
> 2. in vain I seek you among the wakened.
>
> 3. A drop of blood did seal our pact (a drop of blood did seal the seam?)
>
> 4. serenaded within a dream.
>
> 5. Such powers rose from this simple act; (Such powers rose from the
> mystic steam?)
>
> 6. at last my fantasies are fact. (our fantasies forsakened?)
>
> 7. Serenaded within a dream
>
> 8. in vain I seek you among the wakened.
>
> Cheerwell, Mary :O)
>
>
>
> --- tlrelf <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Incubus
> >
> > Serenaded within a dream
> >
> > in vain I seek you among the wakened.
> >
> > A drop of blood did seal our pact
> >
> > serenaded within a dream.
> >
> > Such powers rose from this simple act;
> >
> > at last my fantasies are fact.
> >
> > Serenaded within a dream
> >
> > in vain I seek you among the wakened.
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
>
> =====
> Good Cheer & Be Well,
> Maryann Hazen-Stearns
> "Under The Limbo Stick"
> http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
> also available at these locations:
> http://www.vivisphere.com http://www.amazon.com
>
> __________________________________________________
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