Hi Harvey, good fun - it strikes me as a performance piece that will gain a
lot with the timing. As text it looks pretty forced in places - the tail
wagging the dog - lines constructed from the rhyme backwards. Of couse
orally you can play that for laughs.
I don't think the payoff works though. It requires a leap of imagination
and intuition - whereas the rest of the poem is delivered on a plate. I
think something more obvious and funny is in order. Though don't know what
'cos it's the wife's turn with the sense of humour this week. best, John
----- Original Message -----
From: "Fisher, Harvey" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: 09 August 2001 12:50
BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN
It's about time
the lights were in my favour.
Look, I'll even promise
to be on my best behaviour.
I'm not looking for a swashbuckling saviour
or a fantasy hero from a Marvel comic.
I just need a pick-me-up tonic
before the situation gets too chronic.
I can't afford to stop at every give-way sign
I've been idling far too long and just haven't got the time
I'm sick of drinking water. I want to taste the wine
so I'm stepping up a gear at the risk of a fine.
I need a relationship
without a double yellow line.
I won't park up in a garage waiting for rust
or let baggage settle and start gathering dust
my next stop will be
with someone I can trust.
So you can dazzle me all you like
with your flashing blue lights
I'm keeping my foot down
because I know my rights
I'm not going to suffer
Any more lonely nights.
So keep those cones from my path
and only cross where you can,
because I'm back on the road
and I ain't driving no van!
Harvey Fisher
8th August 2001
any comments out there?
|