Gary, I like the theme, the concentration on sounds,
and some pleasing rhymes. Wonder if it might be worth
repeating 'each' at the beginning of each stanza
and inserting the indef. art 'a rooster's crow','a
cattle's low'. Then 'mouse and owl' are a little at
odds. How about 'the hoot of owl'? I haven't solved
this town/country thing myself. Like the stimulus of
the town but the spaces and freshness of the country.
Oh and could your last stanza echo the form of the
first? Only ideas: it's nice the way it is. cheers,
cara---
garydawg <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Country,
Cityside
>
> Here among these tall structures
> I somehow feel at home.
> I imagine
>
> each taxi horn
> rooster's crow
>
> screech of brake,
> mouse and owl
>
> train whistle,
> cattle's low
>
> siren,
> coyote's howl
>
> somehow I feel at home
> but not home enough
> to keep me
> among these tall structures
> where I do not belong.
>
> October with Judy and Scio: Homepage:
> http://gardawg.homestead.com/homestead.html,
>
> Submissions: http://www.writershood.com/index.html
>
> Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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