Cor, Al
you have tightened that!
I'm wondering still whether you could bring in the title phrase in an ironic
way into the body-text, but I like the way you've foregrounded the poem's
strengths. I notice the brackets are back again (not that I'm complainin'
dear!) what I need to do is print it out and look at point by point with the
former version - do you notice how it's easier to look things through on a
physical page still, used tho' we may be to pc screens.
(btw I suspect the poems from the supposed Indian guy that Robin was sent
for the Chide were yet another hoax, either that or he needs serious
literary help)
Y'know I'm just remembering how well your poem reads out aloud - you do have
such a natural feel for rhythm.
Lotsa Love to You, you Irrepressible Poet You!
Davo (the Ceasing to Sneeze-o)
David Bircumshaw
Leicester, England
Home Page
A Chide's Alphabet
Painting Without Numbers
www.paintstuff.20m.com/index.htm
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/index.htm
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