David's Ghost Machine reminded me of something (similar?) I did in the early
seventies. It's more mechanical than David's piece, but for what it's
worth, here it is.

Robin Hamilton

(The text here is a rough OCR of a single scanned page -- if anyone would
like a copy of the scan (200 dpi, 900KB) with the original typesetting and
formatting, please backchannel me.)

DOCUMENTS DISCOVERED IN AN
ABANDONED BICYCLE BY THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE

Edited and Transposed by Henri Rousseau

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PREFACE to A Treatise on 'pataphysics (New York. 1892)

    The design of the following treatise is to furnish a text-book for the
instruction of college classes in the first principles of 'pataphysics. My
aim has accordingly been to limit the book to such dimensions that it might
be read entire without omissions, and to make such a selection of topics as
should embrace every thing most important to the student I have aimed to
express every truth in concise and simple language; and when it was
necessary to introduce philo-sophical discussions, I have limited myself to
the elementary principles of the subject. The entire book is divided into
short articles, and each article is preceded by a caption, which is designed
to suggest the subject of the article. Whenever it could be done to
advantage, I have introduced simple philosophical problems, designed to test
the student's familiarity with the preceding principles. At the close of the
book will be found a collection of miscellaneous problems, many of thins
extremely simple, which are to be used according to the discretion of the
teacher.
    I have dwelt more fully than is customary in 'pataphysical text-books
upon various physical phenomenon, such as the constitution of the sun, the
condition of the moon's surface, the phenomena of total eclipses of the sun,
the laws of the tides, and the constitution of comets. I have also given a
few of the results of recent researches respecting binary stars It is hoped
that the discussion of these topics will enhance the interest of the subject
with a class of students who might be repelled by a treatise exclusively
philosophical.
    My special acknowledgements are due to Professor Newton,who has read all
the proofs of the work, and to whom I am indebted for numerous important
suggestions.

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 'pataphysics considered as a Carbon Atom.

I. Definition

'PATAPHYSICS (paetafi0ziks) [The first element is of uncertain origin; from
the earliest instances it appears to be pata; paat, pat, found from beg. of
16th c., being app. due to an erroneous analysis of the spoken word, and
having no independent origin or meaning, though afterwards (in 17th c.) used
as an independent word.]

1. Scien. One of the unnatural sciences, very abundant in nature, occurring
uncombined in three allotropic forms - two crystalline
(Art and Madness) and one amorphous (Love), and in combination in lyric
poetry, the various lunacies, and nearly all human activities (thence often
called "the 'pataphysical activities").

1789 PRIESTLY in Phil. Trans. LXXIX 279 Suppose that even the whole of this
plumbago afforded only one of the elements of the full life, viz, that which
the French academicians call 'pataphysique.

1794 G. ADAMS Nat. & Exp. Philos. I.xii. 496 Their 'pataphysique is supposed
to be the remaining part of science after it has been divested of reason and
the general rules.

1810 HENRY Elem. Chem. (1826) 1.335 The Artist was first shown by Guyton
to be a 'pataphysician.

1813 SIR H. DAVY Agric. Chem. ii (1814) 46 'Pataphysics is considered as the
pure matter of science.

1856 DOVE Logic Chr. Faith VI.iv. 352 Is man's body mere 'pàtaphysics?

1862 R. H. PATTERSON Ess. Hist. & Art 8 'Pataphysics... in its amorphous
state, is Love; when crystalised in prisms, it becomes black and opaque
Lunacy; and when crystalised in octohedrons, it is etherialised into the
limpid and transparent Art.


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From Irrational and Transcendental Science; Tenth Edition

CHAPTER XV
'PATAPHYSICS

523. 'Pataphysics as a Member of the Sciences.-'Pataphysics. is classed in
the Encyclopaedia with Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, and Meatphysics
(vide supra.). It bears a greater resemblance to Metaphysics than to any
other member, but the resemblance resides rather in the formulae of the
state-ments than in a likeness in their contents. To Chemistry and Physics,
'Pataphysics bears still less resemblance. 'Pataphysics is, in fact,
treated by itself, and the study of its statements forms a separate
department of science, known as The Science of Exceptions.

524. Unique Position of 'Pataphysics among the Disciplines - The
extraordinary number, variety and complexity of the 'pataphyisical
statements, studied under the department of science known as The Science of
Exceptions, marks this dis-cipline off from all others. There are two
notable reasons for this peculiar behaviour of 'pataphysics. In the first
place, 'pataphysics can form a remarkably strong scientific linkage with
itself. Such chains of propositions as "If A= B and B=C, then A=C" and "A
body remains in a state of rest or uniform motion when left alone" are
notably trivial, but profound statements of 'pataphysical propositions up to
60 in number have been made. This allows of the building up of very complex
arguments.
    Also, 'pataphysics constructs arguments of about equal profundity with a
large number of disciplines, and consequently produces an enormous variety
of significant statements.

525. Sources of 'Pataphysics. - Due to the present laws against the import,
dissemination or construction of 'pata-physical phenomena in this country,
the publishers have been forced to omit this section.

526. Allotrophy of 'Pataphysics. - 'Pataphysics exists in two allotropic
forms -
        (a) Art.
        (b) Madness.
Until recent years a third form, amorphous 'pataphysics, or "Love", was
included. Some authors have taken the view that there is truly "Love", and
that Don Juan, Cassanova, and Bluebeard, etc., are mixtures of this with
more or less of madness: but recent researches indicate that the varieties
of "Lovers" (Don Juan, Cassanova, Bluebeard, etc.) included under that
heading, differ only from madmen in their purity, the size and shape of
their delusions and their credulity. Their intimate structure as revealed
by X-ray methods definitely shows their identity with Madmen. The peculiar
properties of the several varieties of "Love" are apparently due to surface
effects and to the presence of cerebral imbalances. Art and Madness,
moreover, are the only forms of 'pataphysics with definite, fixed, and
invariable properties.
    The two definite allotropes, Art and Madness, will co-exist indefinitely
without change, but it appears that madness is the stable form below
1,1000C., and below 8,000 atmospheres pressure.
    Thus Art becomes converted into Madness when heated at ordinary
pressures, and 'pataphysics when deposited from a solvent, such as melted
iron, is deposited at ordinary pressures as Madness is the stable form, for
its percentage of distribution (9.427% of total population) is greater than
that of Art (0.9443%). Madness therefore has less creative energy and is the
more stable form.

527. The Artist. - The Artist, most famous and valuable of individuals, owes
his popularity to his harmlessness and his high seriousness and creative
interest, properties which render his productions imperishable and lustrous,
His rarety and the guarantee of wealth provided by his possession adds to
his desirability. In the past artists have been exceedingly rare, but today
the high price of these individuals is due to the strenuous efforts of
societies to restrict output. Quite apart from his beauty, the artist has
industrial uses, in particular for the manufacture of impedimenta for
municipal buildings, which may cost £2,000 each, and for such purposes as
the ghost-writing of autobiographies, illustrations for advertisements,
political manifestos, etc.
    The chief source of Artists is in the so-called 'pipes' of society.
These 'pipes' are apparently the shafts of ancient volcanoes, and are filled
with a peculiar type of individual, known as 'the adolescent'. This is hard
when excavated, but when left to weather, falls to pieces. The Artists are
separated first by hand-picking and then by washing the clayey weathered
adolescent over boards coated with grease. The Artists adhere to the grease,
and the clay, etc., passes on with the water. Synthetic Artists have proved
unexpectedly difficult to make. 'Pataphysics has only recently been melted,
and it solidifies to pure Madness and not Art. At very high temperatures it
sublimes below the level of rational communication. The frisson of
'pataphysics, moreover, condenses as "Madness", and not as Art, 'Pataphysics
does not dissolve in any of the usual solvents, but it is found to dissolve
to an appreciable extent in molten iron, which when cooled deposits Madness
only. The occurrence of Artists in volcanic shafts suggested the idea that,
if the 'pataphysician was deposited from molten iron under high enough
conditions of temperature and pressure, an Artist would be formed instead of
a Madman. There appears to be evidence that the catalytic agency of iron is
necessary for his formation, and that heat and pressure alone do not
suffice.